Lonesome
by laurzz
Summary: 'Memories, even your most precious, fade surprisingly quickly. I don't go along with that; the memories I value most... I don't see them fading any time soon.' But, what if you want those memories to fade?
1. Chapter 1

**So, a new story from me you say? Indeed. However, there's a twist. Is it about Danny and Lindsay? Maybe, maybe not…What's that I hear? 'Laura, you've said yourself that it is - in the character tag.' hmm, correct... or is it to throw you off? Is it about the team? Hmm, that is the question. Is it even set in New York? Who knows?! For the record, I am being purposefully cryptic. As we progress further into the story, I will make necessary amendments, but for now, and for once, I'm not giving you guys everything all at once. Muhahah! I really hope this chapter spikes your interest and you come back for the next chapter to see what on earth I'm talking about (no, I haven't lost my marbles… there is a method to this madness, trust me.) I will tell you that I'm very excited about this story and I've been working on it for about a solid week and have a few tricks up my sleeve. I don't think it's been done before so hopefully you guys enjoy what I have in store. **

**That's enough cryptic-ness from myself for now. Have a look at this prologue. Let me know what you think. Can anyone warrant a guess as to what I might have been planning? I'll be interested to see what you think.**

* * *

_I've waited a long time; yeah the sleight of my hand is now a quick-pull trigger._

_-Pumped up Kicks, Foster the People._

* * *

It was far too busy. Not yet. Definitely too busy. Far too many people to see and put their two cents in when it came down to it. No, it needed to be closer to closing time. That would be when there were fewer people, less chaos. It would be easier to finish the job then too. It was just waiting until then now though. Glancing to the clock on the dashboard, he exhaled heavily. He had at least three hours to kill. Kill, interesting choice of wording, he thought to himself, considering that by the end of the night that would be exactly what he had done. Kill.

He had definitely picked the right place; it was full of buzz both inside and out. People were filling the small establishment every time someone else left. It was like everyone had taken it upon themselves to perfectly time their exit and entrances with one another. It was quite funny really; when he had decided it needed to be done, he'd put a pin into the map and had taken it from there. It didn't really matter where and who he took as his victims, he just wanted to make a scene. Make his presence known… and then disappear as quickly as he had arrived.

A group of three giggling girls entering the building had him rolling his eyes. Those little girls would have most likely been the girls that had rejected him back in high school… all that usual crap. Girls shouldn't be allowed to giggle. He thought angrily. If he could get them then all the better. But really, it didn't matter in the end. He just wanted to take someone. Destroy someone's life. That's all he wanted. Nothing more, nothing less. And he wasn't leaving until he'd done the job. The little town had given him the chills. It was almost too perfect to be real. It didn't make sense and he couldn't understand why someone would want to live in such a place. It didn't appeal to him in the slightest; everyone pretending they knew everyone and giving a crap? He'd gladly take the anonymity of a city life any day. Nobody asked questions in the city, not to mention people didn't give a shit. Everyone cared about themselves and it was the best way for it. Not having to explain shit to complete strangers was one of the reasons why he loved being in the city.

His plan, after he had carried out the main reason behind why he'd dragged himself to the sticks, was to hightail it out of here. He already had his new plates in the back; underneath the his equipment funnily enough. He'd change them on a lonely little road, toss everything he no longer needed to the side and carry on his merry way with no one being any wiser. The one horse town would surely have all of its man power of saving whoever he had decided to shoot and as a result, he'd be free to get a head start. That head start would mean that they had no chance of finding him. And that was the beautiful thing about where he had chosen to do it. He was completely unknown. He was a faceless stranger that nobody would even know about until it was too late.

More fool them. Hah!

He was ripped from his thoughts by a little knocking noise that sounded on the glass. Hesitantly he rolled the window down and offered the girl a stern look. "Can I help you?"

"Are you lost?" she smiled.

"Do I look lost?"

"Not exactly," she shook her head. "But you don't often see people sat in cars from Detroit here. Can I help you with anything?"

"No" he forced a smile. "No, I'm right where I need to be. Thank you though…" _Nosey little bitch!_ He thought to himself; his face probably said it too.

Despite the looks he was shooting her, the girl smiled. "You know if you were thinking about going in, get the apple pie. It's to die for."

"Thanks, I'll have to remember that." He paused for a moment before twisting his lips together. "Say, what's your name?"

"Lydia," She smiled. "You have a good night."

"Thanks for your help, Lydia. You too."

The girl offered him a bright smile before scurrying off towards the diner. Interesting that she'd stopped to 'help' him. Maybe if someone had helped him months ago, he wouldn't have to do what he was about to do… as it was, her help was just too late. And little did Lydia know that if she stuck around long enough, the apple pie might just be worth dying for.

* * *

**Cliffhanger! Told you I wasn't giving it up easily ;) Have I got your interest yet? Let me know! :) Thanks for reading. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Now, some of you were dead on in your reviews, some of you saw right through me and I think I confused some of you, so hopefully you are all warmed up in reading between the lines now and we'll see how right you all were in your guesses. This chapter will definitely make it clear as to what's going on and what I have planned, but is it going to go how you expect? That is the question. **

**I haven't been as cryptic this A/N. haha, but I will say thank you to all you wonderful muffins who reviewed (and not to forget those of you who read- thank you as well!) your reviews all brought massive smiles to my face and made my sucky week better, so thank you! Grateful thank yous to: izzi creo, sass box, dannylindsayfan, alexindigo, shipperheart, webdlfan, Thorne Lockehart, CTI-Jenn, brendanakai, sprog101, rhymenocerous, dannyandlindsayforeva and quinndex.  
**

* * *

_When you were in trouble, the crooked little smile could melt my heart of stone. Now look at you; I've turned around and you've almost grown._

_My Little Girl – Tim McGraw._

* * *

"Daddy! I'm already late; move already! What's the hold up?"

"Lindsay, I'm not interested in your busy schedule… We'll go when I'm ready."

Growling at the sound of her father's answer, Lindsay counted to ten in her head as she knew any back-chat would quickly decrease her summer allowance. She'd been late home from cheer practice to begin with, and just as she was about to head out the door and walk across town to meet the girls, her Dad had offered to take her… which had initially been a sweet gesture… but now it was proving to be even more frustrating than it would have been to walk. If he had let her go when she had wanted to, she would have been there five minutes ago.

She dropped herself down in at the kitchen table and took a seat. Her father was so infuriating. Kelly's dad would have dropped everything to take Kelly wherever she had needed to be, and she would have gotten there on _time! _ But no; not her own father. He'd be late to his own damn funeral... which would be fast approaching if he didn't pick up his feet already!

"Daddy!" She called again. "Let's go!" she exaggerated with her pronunciation. "The diner is gonna close before we even set off."

Straining her ears, Lindsay could hear the footsteps of her father on their hardwood flooring. _Finally!_ She implored inwardly. She glanced up and raised her eyebrows at her father, tapping her foot impatiently; who, coincidentally was looking at her in the same way.

"Are you quite finished, madam?" He scowled at her. "If your attitude is going to change when you're a cheerleader, I can call Coach and tell him to drop you from the team. We go way b-"

"You go way back, I know, you've told me a million times, Daddy." Lindsay said softly. "Daddy, I just really want to leave already. Please? Stop making me wait. If I had my own car…"

"If you had your own car I'd never damn well see you, you'd be out till all hours."

"You know that isn't true," Lindsay scrunched her face in disgust. "Listen, are we going or what; because if we aren't, I'll just walk and be late."

Sighing, Mike Monroe rolled his eyes before grabbing his keys from the hook in the kitchen. He looked at the car keys before tossing them across the room to his daughter. "Don't make me regret this."

"Are you serious?" Lindsay implored as she looked at the keys her father had just tossed her.

"For some reason, I am." He sighed. "You're back by ten. You don't give rides. No alcohol. No boys."

"Daddy, I'm going to the diner. They don't even sell alcohol there."

"I know, it's just something I have to say as your father. I mean it Lindsay. This is a test you need to pass if you expect me and your mother to trust you with a car. The Pinto is waiting for you, show us that you're ready for the responsibility and it's yours, honey."

Jumping out of her chair, Lindsay grabbed her bag as she launched herself into her father's arms and squeezed him tight. "I love you for this!" she cried. "I'm sorry I got mad with you."

"So you should be," Mike scoffed. "Your old man isn't going to be here forever you know, and that's not even taking into account the fact that in a week you're leaving me to go to camp."

"I'll be back though," she whispered in his ear as her father tightened his arms around her. "And I'll only be gone for like six weeks. It's not even the full summer. We can still do all of our things together. I hear that the fly fishing season is in its full force the week I get back. Yellowstone has got our name all over it."

"Your methods of persuasion are second to none, Lindsay Monroe." Mike laughed as he released her. "I thought you were going to be late…"

"I am," She scrambled out of his arms and stood on her tiptoes as she kissed him on the cheek. "Bye Daddy, thanks for the car. Love you."

"Yeah yeah," he scoffed. "Just be safe Lindsay; don't mess with the radio... concentrate on driving."

"Whatever, Daddy." Lindsay grinned as she disappeared out of Michael's sight.

Sitting in the seat that his daughter had just vacated, Mike Monroe sighed heavily. Last week he had been teaching his little eight-year-old how to use her fly fishing rod. Now, he was giving her the keys to her mother's car? She had grown up way too quick for his liking.

* * *

Bursting in through the doors of the diner, Lindsay Monroe smiled at her friends who were already settled at their regular table. Their playful cheers, announcing her arrival, made her smile. She wasn't that late, was she?

"Nice of you to join us," Jenny smirked sarcastically as Lindsay manoeuvred herself around the table and dropped down into her usual chair. "What did you do, walk backwards?"

"Nah," Kelly chirped in before Lindsay could even offer a response. "I bet she stayed late at cheer practice to stare at Jeremy."

"That's only half true!" Lindsay cried. "Cheer practice did run over… And Jeremy wasn't at school today. If he was he skipped Calculus and Chemistry."

"Ahh," judgemental, teasing jeers sounded from each corner of the table. "No wonder you were a little lost puppy." Jenny teased. "No lab partner in chemistry? Nobody to borrow a pencil from in calculus? Poor baby."

"Whatever guys, Jeremy and I are going to happen one day." Sighing dramatically, Lindsay dropped the chunky set of car keys on the table and grinned at her friends.

"Shut up!" Kelly cried as she grabbed the keys from the table. "Your parents let you drive the car?"

"Oh yeah," Lindsay grinned. "All by myself too; didn't even have Daddy following me this time."

"Mike dropped the ball there; he missed out on pivotal father stalking moments! He must be losing it in his old age." Jenny implored. "Damn Linds, you must have impressed them with something. Did you get your report card early or something?"

Lindsay shrugged. "I have no idea. I kind of hope I keep at it though. Senior year will be pretty good for us if it carries on."

"I hate you," Brianna finally found her voice. "You're the youngest and you're just driving around like you own the place… people like you make me sick. Sick Lindsay Monroe, do you hear me? Sick!"

"Drama club going well, Bri?" Lindsay smirked as she reached for the menu.

"What do you think you're doing?" Jenny implored as she grabbed the menu from Lindsay and smacked her on the arm with the said menu. "You're surely not reconsidering the tried, tested and proven successful menu choices, are you?"

"Well, I was kind of hoping for a change." Lindsay blinked at her friend. "But I'm guessing from that whole snatching the menu away thing means you have different plans?"

"So long as apple pie is involved, I don't care," Kelly chirped. "I would die for that pie."

"That's so funny. I just told some guy outside that it was to die for. It looked like he was debating coming in. Hopefully I persuaded him. According to my Daddy I have methods of persuasion that are second to none… whatever that means."

"He won't need persuading if he knows what's good for him," Brianna winked. "So, who's ready to order?" she smiled as Sarah approached the table.

"Hey girls, the usual?" Sarah inquired as she pulled out her mini spiral notebook to write down their order. Sharing a look between her friends, Lindsay smiled and nodded. In sync to one another, they all sang, 'yes please' before bursting into a fit of giggles.

And in that moment, Lindsay realised that everything she needed in the world was sat beside her.

* * *

**So, what on earth is going on? The plot thickens... thoughts are appreciated as ever. Who was right in their predictions? Who was totally off course? Who still thinks I've lost my mind? haha. I'd love to know what you think I have planned. **

**Thanks for checking in once again guys, I really appreciate it. **


	3. Chapter 3

**So, here we go. This is when it all goes down. I think you're all pretty clued up on what's going on here... so I won't drag the pain out any longer. Don't hate me. Fred made me do it. lol. **

**In other news, I have some wonderful, exciting personal news. I got my first teaching post this afternoon! I am an official teacher for 5 afternoons a week, teaching the first and second grade (KS1 in my lingo here in England! haha) I start tomorrow, hence the quick update now because I suspect I will be an extremely busy bee for the next month or so and I didn't want to leave you hanging. So yep, Laurzz is a teacher. Finally! I order everyone to have a glass of their favourite drink and celebrate! **

**Huge thank you to those of you reading and reviewing. And also those of you who are following. I hope you all stick around for the journey. Fortunately I have a good few chapters behind me already so it shouldn't be that long of a wait. Just prod me with pointy sticks because I may temporarily forget that the internet exists haha. (yeah, right...) **

**As a quick side note, the song I use in this chapter was actually the song from Lindsay's scene with the girl, Sarah Butler in Stealing Home. You should look it up if you haven't already. It's quite haunting but a pretty song. **

**Anyway, special thank you to: dannyandlindsayforeva, sprog101, quinndex, brendanakai, alexindigo, rhymenocerous and Gigglesforcsi.  
**

* * *

_You thought you had all the answers to rest your heart upon but something happened; don't see it coming and now you can't stop yourself. Now you're out there swimming, in the deep._

_-In the Deep, Bird York_

* * *

"Seriously though, I'm going to miss you guys so much over the summer."

"Tell me about it," Kelly implored as she pulled her long awaited apple pie closer towards her. "I mean, you guys are used to being away from everyone over the summer… I'm screwed!"

"The second you get off your flight and on the bus to camp you won't even remember where you live," Jenny offered a reassuring smile. "It'll be the best thing you've ever done, Kel. We keep telling you this, but does she listen?" Jenny implored looking towards Lindsay and Brianna, "No she doesn't."

"Yeah but you guys…" Kelly sighed heavily, "I'm used to killing time and waiting for everyone to get home."

"Maybe," Lindsay shrugged. "But this year you'll have camp stories too."

"Yeah well I haven't even packed yet," Kelly announced before turning her gaze away from her dumbfounded friends.

"You haven't packed?" Brianna whispered.

"You haven't packed anything?" Jenny snorted. "Not a thing?"

"Not a stitch," Kelly smirked.

"So maybe Kelly isn't going to camp after all," Brianna laughed. "It takes me weeks to pack; and then my Mom repacks for me and then hides little homely things in my socks and stuff."

"This isn't confessional," Jenny laughed. "We don't wanna know all your little secrets, Bri."

"I think she can do it," Lindsay said, offering a smile of reassurance towards her best friend. "I don't really take that much time in packing. I usually get it done in one afternoon."

"Yeah but you're a seasoned camper." Brianna pointed out.

"So?" Lindsay scowled playfully.

"So nothing, when it comes to camp, packing and Lindsay Monroe; whatever you say is a mute point." Brianna stuck her tongue out as she took a sip of her coke. "All I'm hoping for is that there are some nice boys. I'm not going to a mixed camp for no reason; that's for sure."

"What a surprise!" Kelly smirked. "Brianna, wanting to meet boys? Fancy that."

"Sarcasm isn't becoming, Kelly." Brianna licked her lips as she dug her fork into her apple pie.

"What's your type this week?" Jenny teased her friend; "Tall? Blonde hair? Swimmer?"

"So last week," Brianna flicked her hair over her shoulder playfully. "No this week I'm looking for a good, old fashioned cowboy."

"And you're going to find that in Rhode Island, Bri?" Kelly inquired as all three girls simply raised their eyebrows at Brianna's unlikely criteria for her summer boyfriend.

"Did you forget we live in Montana?" Lindsay laughed. "They don't get much more country than that."

"I think I'd like him to have a Texan accent. Texans are cute." Brianna continued.

"Nope, I'd much rather go for a city boy any day." Jenny smiled.

"You guys are way too picky." Lindsay laughed as she stood from the table and made her way to the restroom to wash her hands. Just like every-time they came to the diner, everyone had pretty much cleared out; apart from them. It literally took Sarah launching them through the door every week to get them to leave… but that was the fun of it all; getting lost in a million conversations with her best friends over things that didn't matter. For one night a week, it was okay to forget about homework, her AP classes, her cheerleading, horse-riding, tennis and everything else. For one night a week, she could be the person she wanted to be with her friends and it was a feeling that she absolutely loved. It was the highlight of her week and she wouldn't change it for anything.

She smiled at her reflection in the mirror as she turned the faucet on. She could still hear her goofball friends laughing right outside the door. Each had their distinctive laugh that when compiled together, made quite a sound. It was a sound that made her feel like she belonged. Without her laugh, the group wasn't the same; just like any of the others. They were a perfect dynamic and there was no doubt in Lindsay's mind that they'd be friends forever. The bell at the front chiming made her stir from her thoughts; even though it was late, Sarah wouldn't have kicked them out yet… especially when she knew that Lindsay was still in the bathroom; not to mention they hadn't even paid their bill yet. And nobody would be coming in because everyone knew it was closing; Lindsay was positive of that. It was strange that-

_Gunshot. _

_Screams_

_Then another. _

_More screams. _

_Another. _

_A lone scream._

_Another shot. _

Silence.

* * *

**Oh wait, did I say that I didn't want to leave you hanging? Hmm... I may have lied a little. oopsies. ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks to all of you wonderful people who sent kind congrats for my job, I can't even tell you how much I am loving being a teacher. The children in my classes are wonderful and life is all good. Unfortunately however I can't say the same for Lindsay. I was pretty mean to her last chapter... and you guys for that matter; leaving you hanging like that. Hopefully this will make up for it... well actually, considering the content of the chapter, it probably won't.. but what can you do, eh?! :( **

**Enough of my rambling. Huge thank you to those of you who read, favourited, reviewed, and everything else for last chapter. You guys are great, you make writing even more fun than it already is. And you'll all be glad to know I have 6 chapters written and ready to be posted... so it shouldn't be long between updates... hopefully! **

**Special mentions to: webdlfan, brendanakai, Catty, sprog101, Izzi Creo, dannyandlindsayforeva, gigglesforcsi and me. (Meggie, is that you? lol)  
**

**P.s. Catty, I couldn't reply via PM, but I just wanted to say thank you so much, that's so kind. I will keep that in mind. I'm absolutely loving it, and I have to agree. Year 1 and 2 are fast becoming my favourite ages. :)**

* * *

_Here I stand alone, with this weight upon my heart; and it will not go away._

_-What If, Kate Winslet._

* * *

Dropping to her knees, she curled herself into a ball and covered her ears. She froze as the terror and severity of what had just happened set in. No. This couldn't be happening; she squeezed her eyes tight and held her breath as a desperate move to prevent whoever out there from hearing her in the restroom, especially with the faucet still running above her head. No, no, no, NO. This just… no. Why them? Why her? Why? She had to know what was going on. She just had to. Standing on her shaking legs she tiptoed across the tiled floor and opened the door a fraction; just enough to see out. In front of her eyes stood a man, holding a shotgun, covered in blood. She blinked once, twice, three times as she tried to make sure that something stuck in her mind about him. She shut the door as carefully as she physically could and scampered back to the sink where she curled herself into a ball yet again; hoping and praying he didn't come into the restroom_. He might,_ her inner voice trembled. _He might want to clean the blood from his clothes_. Oh god, _Blood_. Did that mean that the girls were-? She shook her head as the tears cascaded down her cheeks; _of course_ that's what it meant. She'd just heard him fire the gun and… _Just leave! _Her inner voice screamed. _Just leave me alone, leave us alone. You've done enough. Just go!_

She listened desperately for the bell chiming again or footsteps and after a few baited breaths, she heard the door chime again. She counted to a random number in her head before she headed back out into the diner. Her stomach was threatening to release its contents at the thought of what awaited her. She burst through the bathroom door and couldn't hold back her sobs as she looked at the chaos that stared at her. She staggered towards her friends as they lay on the floor. Sarah was by the register, Kelly and Jenny were on the floor by the table and… her heart raced, oh god; where was… she turned and saw Brianna in one of the booths, her chair knocked over. Lindsay swallowed her tears as she vaguely realised it was the booth she herself sat in when she came into eat with her family.

Swallowing the overwhelming range of emotions, Lindsay forced her brain to think. _Police. Call the police._ Running to the counter, she ripped the phone from its hook and dialled 911. Thankfully, she heard the voice of an emergency dispatcher on the other end almost instantly. '_911, what's your emergency?' _

"Someone help me, please help me. He shot them all; they're all dead, please help me… just get someone here, please."

On the other end of the line, she could remotely hear the dispatcher's calming voice. "What's your name, honey?"

_Who cares what my name is, _she cried internally_. My friends are dying! _"Lindsay," She sobbed down the phone line.

"Okay Lindsay; I need you to listen carefully to me okay, it's very important that you listen to what I say and do as I tell you okay? Are you sure that whoever did this has gone? Does the person know you're there?"

"No," she whispered in response, her eyes focusing solely on the blood pool seeping through Kelly's t-shirt. "I was in the restroom when it happened."

"Okay, Lindsay, that's good. Where are you honey?"

"Lewis and Clark," she spluttered. "It's on... it's on..."

"I've got it, don't worry. Alright Lindsay, I need you to listen to me for a minute,"

"Okay," she whimpered as she switched the phone from one ear to the other.

"What I need you to do is to check the pulse of the people there with you, okay? Do you know how to do that?"

"We've done it in gym class."

"Good, I need you to do that for me. When you have, shout from where you are; shout yes for there is a pulse, or no for there isn't; okay? Then, don't come back to the phone. Go to the restroom, okay? Go find a safe space there and stay there until the police officers come to get you; they're already on their way."

Wordlessly, she wiped the tears from her eyes. She placed the phone on the counter and dropped to her knees next to Kelly and reached for her wrist, like they had a few weeks before in gym class. She could remember that they had been laughing hysterically together because although Lindsay had been able to find a pulse in Kelly's wrist, Kelly had announced Lindsay dead because she couldn't feel a pulse. And now she was about to do the very same thing to Kelly, but she definitely wouldn't be laughing about it. She pressed her fingertips against Kelly's pressure point desperately searching for a pulse. She tapped on her wrist as she tried to awaken the life within her friend. Nothing. She tried again… nothing. Again and again and again but nothing. Lindsay laid a hand against Kelly's cheek before the smell of copper began to overwhelm her and she could feel bile rising in her throat. "No!" she shouted, suddenly remembering the 911 operator waiting on the counter. "I can't feel a pulse," she sobbed before scrambling to her feet and she quickly retreated back to her safe haven of the restroom; just in time to empty her stomach contents. She gripped to the toilet as tears streamed down her face. This couldn't be happening. She had been so happy ten minutes earlier. She had been perfectly content. She'd just been thinking about how she would be friends with them forever and now what? That was forever? She was all alone; without them. She felt the overwhelming nausea hit her again and she once again expelled the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

A few moments later, when the notion of sickness had passed, she laid her head against her knees as she tucked herself into a ball, right as the bell chimed on the front door of the diner. For a moment, her heart stopped before she heard the crackling of the police radios and urgent footsteps. She stood before crumbling back down to her knees, smacking her body against the cubicle of the toilet. Crying out in pain, she heard a voice calling out that they had a survivor waiting for their arrival in the bathroom. She swallowed as she let the words sink in. She was a survivor; her friends were victims. Something she never ever imagined herself to be. She fit. She fit nicely into a group of friends. She didn't stand out from the crowd. She didn't make statements. She was just Lindsay. Lindsay Monroe. Now she'd be Lindsay Monroe, the girl that lived. None of her friends had lived – so why had she? What gave her the right to live and the rest of them die? They were good people. They all were – but she was no better than them. Why had she been spared while the others hadn't? Why hadn't Kelly or Brianna come to the restroom with her? Why hadn't Jenny's Dad picked her up earlier like he always did? Why hadn't they gone home earlier? Why?

She closed her eyes as she waited for the footsteps that were running towards her. She looked up through her tear filled eyes at the police officer that she had seen nursing a coffee and apple pie in the diner thousands of times.

"Lindsay, are you hurt?" he whispered as he dropped to his knees in front of her. Jeffers. His name badge read; Jeffers. She knew that name… Katie Jeffers. Katie was in their class at school. She took AP History with Katie; they talked but they weren't what you would call friends. Acquaintances, perhaps? Lindsay had her friends. She had three of them; three perfect best friends. All of them were now lying on the floor in pools of their own blood, though. Realising she hadn't offered him a response; he asked her again whether she was hurt.

She opened her mouth to tell him that she was okay, but she couldn't find the words on her tongue. It didn't seem right to say the words 'I'm fine' when her three best friends were dead in the room adjacent to the one in which she'd been saved in. Nothing seemed right without it. Nothing about it was fine.

"He didn't touch me." She managed to whisper in a small voice. "Why me?" she added. "Why wasn't I in there with them?"

"I don't know, honey." He said sympathetically. "I don't now why it had to be any of you beautiful girls. We'll find the person that did this to you."

"He didn't do anything to me," She said, her voice a broken shell of the enthusiasm it usually was. "He did it to my friends."

"He did it to you too Lindsay. He did just as much, if not more to you. We'll get him; you can trust me on that."

Lindsay gripped to the officer's vest as he scooped her up in his arms effortlessly and carried her from the restroom into the diner where it was a flurry of activity. Lindsay buried her head in her hands as she tried to block the images of her friends being shocked back to life with very little success. Jenny already had a blanket over her. The images burned her retinas even after she had squeezed her eyes shut. The officer, Jeffers, carried her over the threshold of the diner where her life had just fallen to pieces right in front of her very own eyes.

"Do you want me to call your Mom and Dad, Lindsay?" He asked softly as he set her down on the stretcher that was waiting for her near an ambulance.

"I have the car," Lindsay whispered. "My Dad said I had to be back for ten. He's going to be mad, I'm late."

"He'll understand, sweetheart." Jeffers reassured her as he stepped back to let the Emergency responders tend to her shaking and shocked body. "Now, are you sure he didn't touch you? He didn't fire the gun at you at all?"

Lindsay shook her head. "No, he didn't know I was there. He didn't see me."

"How do you know he didn't see you? Where were you, Lindsay?"

"In the restroom." She said, "I was in the restroom washing my hands when the gun went off. I wanted to know what was happening so I opened the door a little and saw him."

"Would you recognise him if you saw him again? Could you describe what he looked like?"

Lindsay nodded eagerly.

"Lindsay Monroe, that could have been the bravest thing I've ever heard anyone do in this little town."

Entering the diner three hours ago she had been a teenager, loving her friends, life and everything in between. Leaving the diner however she was a survivor, a victim and only witness not just one murder, but four; four murders with no rhyme or reason to it. Just for the sake of killing. And it was in that moment that Lindsay knew that things would never be the same again.

* * *

**Thanks for reading, as ever, thoughts are greatly appreciated!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Alright then guys, it looks like update Sunday is once again upon us and I desperately just want to say 908. 908 and those writers. they make me happy. that is all. (google the press release for 908 if you're okay with spoilers, it's a aslkflgjksdjghgidbfibhgvndhg fnbb moment) **

**Also, you guys are awesome! I am really enjoying your feedback on this story. I'm so glad you are enjoying it so much. Izzi Creo, webdlfan, alexindigo, saderia, sprog101, rhymenocerous, Gigglesforcsi, dannyandlindsayforeva, Montanagirl2009.  
**

**Now, I'm going to leave it there for tonight as I have to be up in 7 hours and 26 minutes to go and teach my precious cherubs lol!**

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_Goodbye, there's just no sadder word to say. And it's sad to walk away with just the memories. Who's to know what might have been; we leave behind a life and time we'll never know again._

_-Please Remember, Leann Rimes._

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Laid on her side, facing away from the hospital door Lindsay used their ignorance as a good thing. She was getting information that they wouldn't have even dreamt to tell her if they had any inclination that she was awake.

Basically what it boiled down to was he had gotten away. There were no two ways about it. He was gone and there was no trace of him. Nothing. He hadn't touched Kelly, Sarah, Jenny or Brianna after he'd done what he did so there was no DN-something. DNA? DMV? She hadn't quite heard what they had said. Basically though, he hadn't checked their pulses. She was the only person that had checked Kelly's. He hadn't cared. All he had wanted to do was shoot her friends; he didn't care whether they lived or not. She could feel the tears trickling down her cheeks from her closed eyelids and she forced herself to stop crying; if they knew she was awake, they'd stop talking... and she needed to know things. She needed to know why. Why them.

_How had he disappeared?! _She thought desperately. She'd given the police officer a description of him and they had drawn a picture of him. It had everything that she'd said. The messy, greasy hair; the scary look in his eyes… just, everything. It was exactly him; so why hadn't they found him? _What was so hard about it?_ She thought. _How couldn't they find him?_ The guy was covered in blood. He was covered. With everyone out looking, they should have found him. Not many people would be out driving now. _They must not have tried hard enough_, Lindsay thought to herself. _They must have just let him get away._ A fresh batch of tears hit her full force, making her whimper into her hospital pillow.

Maybe it wasn't their fault, maybe it was her fault. Maybe she had waited too long to call the police. Or maybe she waited too long in the restroom. Maybe she should have been out in the diner too. At least then she would have been with her friends. Maybe… maybe… she just didn't know what to think anymore.

After she had giving the police officer a description of whoever had done this, they had insisted she go to hospital; which had sent her into a frenzy of upset and panic. The last time she'd been to the hospital was when her Grandfather had died and Kelly had come when she had heard what had happened. She'd collected Lindsay from his room and she had taken her to the canteen and got her chocolate milk and she'd sat there blowing bubbles in her own strawberry milkshake as they sat in silence together. Initially, Lindsay had sat staring off into the distance as she contemplated life without her grandfather, but was harshly interrupted by Kelly's coughing and spluttering. She'd sucked into the straw, rather than blown and had been given a shock when she had a mouthful of milk that she hadn't expected. After that, although it had been a sad affair at home, Lindsay knew that she had Kelly to lean on to make her smile and laugh again. Kelly was gone now though. She wouldn't be in the canteen waiting for her. She'd never hear Kelly's laugh, or Brianna's desperation in finding the perfect boy, or Jenny's sarcasm ever again. Without them, she was just Lindsay. And what did she have? She was the reliable one. She was the one that broke up their disagreements. She was the one that dished out homework help. She taught them the cheers for the games.

Somehow though, the police officers and ambulance crew had coaxed her into getting checked, just to make sure she was okay. The drive in the ambulance was something Lindsay never wished to relive. It was quiet, and she was getting these… sympathetic looks from the crew. It was like they felt sorry for her. Desperately sorry. They didn't really say much to her, other than asking necessary questions about herself; like if she knew what year it was and other ridiculous things. Who was the president? What school did she go to? What was her address? What relevance did it have to the fact that her friends had died? Very little, she'd thought.

"We can't wake her. She's gone through a traumatic ordeal. Her body needs to heal the physical wounds."

"Well she's the only witness we have. It's imperative we speak with her instantly."

"I'm going to have to get her doctor first."

"I'm awake," she called to the arguing voices, desperate to shut them up with their arguing. It was easier to just do whatever they needed to do with her so she could get back to pretending she was asleep. She sat up on the bed and cringed as she watched the room stare at her, looking for any inclination that she was injured.

"How are you feeling, Lindsay?" The officer sat next to the bed asked her.

Lindsay avoided the question well with a shrug of her shoulders. He nodded in understanding before turning to the person sat next to him. "This is Detective Scott; he's in charge of finding the man that did this."

"He isn't a man." Lindsay said quietly as she looked down to the blankets on her bed.

"Lindsay, you told us the person that did this was a man." The Detective blinked, worry displayed all over his face that they had been out searching for the wrong person.

"A coward did this," she finished. "A monster."

Both men nodded in understanding, settling somewhat in their seats. "We wanted to ask you a few more questions. Do you feel up to it?"

"When can I see my Mom and Dad?"

"After this," the officer standing at the door smiled at her. It was Officer Jeffers; the man that had been looking after her at the scene. She narrowed her eyes at him softly. He hadn't left her. "I promise, Lindsay."

"Okay then," she nodded. "Whatever you need. So long as you find him, that's all that matters."

"Exactly Lindsay, good girl. I know this will be hard, but I need you to think clearly and carefully. Take your time... we can take as many breaks as you need, okay?"

She simply nodded in response.

"Okay, now you've had a little time; do you think you have ever seen this person before Lindsay? Have you see him at school? In the park? Where did you and your friends used to hang out?"

"At the diner," Lindsay replied. "We were always really busy so other than each other's houses, we only really went to the diner."

"Okay, so let's think. At school he could have faded into the background. He could be a janitor or a lunchtime assistant? Close your eyes for a moment Lindsay."

"Whenever I close my eyes, all I can see are my friends covered in blood, dying on a dirty floor. I'd rather not close my eyes if it's all the same." She snapped uncharacteristically. "I'm telling you; I have never seen this man n my life. There was something in his eyes that would have made me remember him if I had."

"Are you sure you've never seen him before? Even just for a millisecond in the middle of the street?"

"How many times do you want me to tell you that I haven't ever seen that man be-," she stopped mid sentence and her jaw dropped. She _had _seen him before. "Outside the diner." She whispered. "He was outside the diner."

The Detective and officer looked at one another with a look she didn't understand, "Outside the diner? When did you see him outside of the diner, Lindsay?"

"When I was going in, I had just parked my Mom's car in the parking lot and he was parked on the street, looking at the diner. It was like he was watching the place. I thought he was lost."

"Lindsay, are you absolutely positive you saw him? Sometimes the brain can play tricks on us and make us believe that things have happened that didn't. Sometimes you can even place people in a situation where you never even saw them."

Lindsay narrowed her eyes at the detective. "I don't know how old you think I am, Detective Scott but I'm not a baby. I know what I saw. I saw that man outside of the diner. I told him to get the apple pie if he decided to go in. He had Detroit plates on the car because I commented on them. He had a military bumper sticker on the car, but it wasn't one like the usual ones you would see from the Army recruiters or something. It was like he had actually served in the military kind of sticker. His car was messy. He had a lot of clothes on his back seat, like he had been living out of his car or something. He had really messy, greasy hair, like I told you guys before. He asked me my name so I told him and then was polite and told him to have a good night. Go and get me a bible and I'll swear on it right now. I know what I saw. He was outside that diner. He was out there all night. I promise you. "

Lindsay could see the grown men study her face; although she didn't know it, utter determination was etched onto her face.

"Lindsay, did you tell him your full name?"

"No, I gave him a fake name. I remembered something that one of the girls said… That if a stranger ever asked your name to give them a fake name but be confident about it. I always give the same name."

"What name did you say, Lindsay?"

"Lydia." She answered. "I didn't even think about it. Should I have told him my real name or something?"

"No, no, God no. You made a very wise, grown up decision there Lindsay. Be proud of yourself."

"Why?" she furrowed her brow.

"Because now, if he for whatever reason thinks of you and wants to find you, he's going to be looking for the wrong person. Did you give him a last name?"

"No, I didn't want to be too weird." She answered. "I just said Lydia. I've done it a thousand times. I didn't think this time would be any different."

"It just might have made all the difference, Lindsay."

Lindsay sighed as a tear trickled down her cheek. Even with Kelly gone she was still looking after Lindsay. She had told her to use a fake name if ever somebody she wasn't too sure about asked her for her name. Something she'd gotten from her brother's girlfriend. She was in college and Kelly had always been in awe of her. Kelly had said it a while ago and it had struck a chord with Lindsay. It made sense; she just wouldn't have thought of it on her own; which was why she needed Kelly.

"I think I need a break," she said as he tears overwhelmed her. "I just want my Mom."

Officer Jeffers frowned sadly as the men that had been asking all about the worst night of her life stood to give her the break she'd asked for. "Your Dad is right outside Lindsay, let me go get him."

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**Poor Linds, she's being pulled through the ringer here; I hope you guys don't mind a tough journey, because we're only just getting started. But... we have major plans. So stay tuned :) thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it - as ever, I'd love to know what you thought. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello folks! Update Sunday once again! and how exciting that next week we will have a post-ep oneshot too! If you're interested that is. hehe. The premiere is on Friday folks. FRIDAY. let's all take a moment to rejoice in the fact that the wait is nearly over. Raise your hand if you're as excited as I am for the new season? It sounds like a seriously sensational season if the whispers I hear are correct. **

**Now, for the story... I feel like we've not covered much distance yet in the story, but I promise that things are about to pick up. The next few chapters really show Lindsay dealing with her emotions and stuff so I hope that you all enjoy the insight. I must admit that this is quite possibly my favourite story I have written. (And I haven't forgotten Danny! I promise. He'll be along soon... or will he ;))**

**Huge thank you to everyone who is still checking in every week! You are all wonderful and I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Special mentions to those of you who dropped me a review. It's always so lovely to get some feedback. **Saderia, Izzi Creo, dannyandlindsayforeva, sprog101, shipperheart and gigglesforcsi.

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_Tell me where does it hurt, where is the pain? You know if I could, I'd make it go away._

_-Where Does it hurt? - The Warren Brothers._

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Sniffing her tears away, Lindsay watched the door as she waited for her Mom. Although she loved her Daddy more than anything, she just wanted her Mom. Her Mom always made everything better, and even though she wasn't entirely sure her Mom could fix this, she knew that once she was with her Mommy she wouldn't have to face things alone.

A knocking sounded at Lindsay's hospital door; she felt a rush of emotions flush through her as the door opened. All she had wanted was to be with her family; not the flurry of emergency services personnel that she had been subjected to. She hadn't wanted to be questioned, prodded, poked and then questioned again. She had wanted hugs, tissues and to be promised that things would be okay. So far she hadn't had any of that. No one had hugged her. No one had told her that people weren't angry with her. Everyone had been very… cold with her. Getting the information they needed from her before passing her off to the next 'necessary' person who needed more 'necessary' information. She'd had broken promises from the people she'd spoken to so far, gaining vital information only when she feigned sleep… and that wouldn't last for very long. They would realise sooner or later… she hoped. Because although she needed to know what was going on, she wasn't entirely sure how much more information she could stomach.

As she looked up from where her eyes had trained on the tiled floor, her eyes met her father's glassy eyes, full of emotion. Her brain was telling her to smile, but her features couldn't manage it. Her lips couldn't smile… not considering everything that had happened. It was like she wouldn't let herself smile.

"Oh baby," her father whispered as he closed the door behind him and closed the distance between himself and his daughter. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

Lindsay studied the look on her Daddy's face as he visually checked over his little girl. She hadn't really thought about her parents. Well, she had, but not in the sense that they must have been worried sick. She knew that her name would have been on the grounded board for the next month when it got to ten o'clock and she still hadn't showed up at home… but then when Officer Jeffers placed the phone call home, she hadn't really heard what he'd said, or what her parents would have thought about it. Seeing the emotion and worry etched onto her father's face however, brought it crashing down. She had never seen him so… beside himself before. There was a look in his eyes that she couldn't place. It was obvious he had been crying, but he had probably visited the restroom before he'd been granted access to her to 'hide' the tear tracks and red eyes.

Her father was falling to pieces in front of her, and all he could do was simply stare at her, as if he had to see her with his own eyes to believe that she was okay. Although she had known that things were going to be different, she didn't realise they would take effect so soon, and with her own father. It hadn't occurred to her before, but people had lost their daughters, sisters, friends… but her parents? Her parents had nearly lost her. So as much as she needed people to lean on, they needed to cry their tears too.

She took a deep breath as she silenced the rational thoughts within her brain. She didn't want rational. She couldn't deal with rational. As far as she was concerned, irrational was her next stop and she planned on a prolonged visit there.

"Where's Mommy?" Lindsay asked softly, her voice raw with emotion.

"She's in the restroom, Honeybee. She won't be long. She told me to come in anyway." Lindsay watched her father close his eyes and sigh heavily as he found himself. She had given him his silent period… and now she needed him. She could tell he too wanted to look at her in that sad, sympathetic way like everyone else did. When he opened her eyes however, she was surprised to see something different. He looked guilty and sad. But not sad for her, or with her; he just looked sad. "I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you girls. You must have been so scared. We've been so worried; they wouldn't let me come in to see you."

"They had some questions or whatever. I haven't seen anyone. Have you seen- have you- Kelly's Mom and Dad?"

"Kelly's parents had to go to another hospital, honey. They didn't come here."

"Why?" Lindsay's voice whispered, "Why didn't they come here?"

Lindsay watched her father twist his lips together, like was trying to think of a way to explain what he had to say to her in a way that wouldn't upset her. "Lindsay, honey, Kelly didn't come to this hospital because she… she didn't need to. She went somewhere else instead."

"Where did she go? Where did they all go? Where's Jenny? And Brianna? Where's Sarah?"

"They went somewhere called a Morgue, Lindsay."

"But what's that?" she implored.

Mike Monroe sighed heavily as he squeezed the bridge of his noise to release the pressure in his head, "Lindsay, a morgue is a place where they keep people when they've passed away before their funeral."

"Why didn't they come here first though?"

"Because they didn't need to honey, they had already died when the ambulance got there. They had lost a lot of blood and there wasn't anything the ambulance crew could do."

Tears welled in Lindsay's eyes as she pulled her legs towards her and squeezed herself into a ball on her bed. "I waited too long, I waited too long to call the police."

"No, Lindsay," her father whispered as he grabbed a tissue from the bedside table next to her bed and began wiping her tears away. "No, you did everything you could honey. You couldn't have saved them. People who save other people everyday couldn't even save them. Nobody could have saved them. God was calling his angels up to heaven. You can't blame yourself, Lindsay. You can't, okay? I won't let you."

"Everything is different." She whispered. "Everything hurts. It's never going to be the same."

"Where does it hurt, Lindsay? Tell me and I'll make it go away, honey. What can I do to make it better?"

"Bring them back, Daddy." She whispered as tears tumbled down her cheeks. "Bring them back."

"Honey, if I could do that for you, I would have already done it for you. I can't do that baby."

"But that's the only thing that will make me better." She cried. "That's the only thing that will stop this… this… here." She pointed to her chest. "It hurts so much, Daddy. Why me? Why am I still here? Why wasn't I shot like them? Why did I have to go and wash my hands like I did? Why didn't he go and check the restrooms? He would have found me then. I froze Daddy, I didn't even go and help them… I just froze."

"Because you're here for a special reason, Lindsay; God needs his angels here too," Mike said softly. "You're here because we need you here."

"Kelly's parents need her. Bri's parents need her. Jenny's need her. What about Sarah? I'm not the only one, but I'm the only one that didn't die. Why Daddy? We me?"

"I know baby, I know. I don't know why this has happened. I don't know why you were the one in the restroom, but I'm glad you were. I'll thank my lucky stars every night for the rest of my life that you were safe and sound in that restroom. I couldn't imagine my life without you, honey. You're my baby girl and just… I don't even know how the girls' parents must be feeling right now."

"Where's mommy?" Lindsay pressed again. "Shouldn't she be here by now?"

"Lindsay, Mommy's still at home."

"You said she was n the bathroom. Why isn't she here?"

"I did," he said, sadly. "I shouldn't have lied to you but… Mom… she's really upset right now. She didn't want to upset you too."

"But I need her," Lindsay whimpered. "I need my Mom. Call her, Daddy. I want her to come."

"We'll call her in a little while, Lindsay."

"No, now." She sniffled. "I need her now."

"Baby, listen… we will go and call her in a while. She's just really upset about everything. She was really scared when we got the phone call from the police officer that you were in a shooting. It's a phone call no parent ever wants to hear. Then when we found out about the girls, she was really upset. We couldn't understand how you were safe and they weren't; then we thought that we had misunderstood and you weren't safe… it was really scary. We hate the thought that you were so close to something so dangerous and she just needed time to make sure she could make you better first. She didn't think you needed to see her crying when you are the one that should be crying. Not her."

"But you're here and you nearly lost me too." Lindsay pointed out. "You didn't stay at home."

"Lindsay, I know it may not have been the best decision we have made as your parents, but it was a decision we needed to make for the best. Sometimes we don't always get it right. I'm here for now though; can you deal with your dear old Dad for now? Mom just loves you so much it scared her, she didn't think you needed to see it."

"I probably didn't," Lindsay nodded. "But I needed to see her, so it wouldn't have mattered. I'm really tired. I think I'm going to go to sleep."

"Okay baby, I'll stay right here though. I'll call Mommy and see if she can come for when you wake up? How does that sound."

Lindsay nodded absentmindedly as she turned over and closed her eyes on the bed. Tears trickled down her cheeks as she realised that the one person she had been relying on wasn't there when she needed her the most. Her Mom had always been there in the past, no matter what… but when she had needed her the most? She wasn't there.

She evened out her breathing and squeezed her eyes shut as she felt her father stand from his chair. She could feel his presence standing over her. His presence was confirmed when she felt his hand brush her long, dark locks from her face and press a kiss to her temple. His lips lingered there as he whispered a few words against her skin. She had been pretty mean to him and she knew that but all she had wanted was her Mom. But that didn't justify how she'd been. He'd always, always been there for her and she definitely didn't give him enough credit for that.

Her ears perked at the sounds of her father lifting the receiver that sat on the bedside table. He was dialling a number and the phone was so loud that Lindsay could hear the ringing of the line. As it was, pretending to be asleep was beginning to work for her.

"_How is she?" _Lindsay's heart fluttered at the sound of her mother's voice.

"Blaming herself, I think." Her father replied. "She misses them so much, she keeps asking me why, why her? Why them? She really needed you, honey. I told you that you should have come."

"_I couldn't_," her mother's voice sounded at the other end of the line. "You _saw how much of a state I was when we hung up the phone; she didn't need to see that."_

"I understand that honey, but she doesn't. She couldn't understand why you weren't here. All she wanted was you, babe. I know that you're finding it hard, but people are going to sympathetic towards us. Linds is just as much of a victim as the girls are; if not more so. She is still here and dealing with all the guilt and confusion. Fifteen seconds later and she could have been out of the bathroom, or fifteen seconds earlier and he could have come in when she was still at the table. And we would have lost our baby. We have a lot to deal with and we need to do it as a family. We need to be strong for her. She deserves that much; she doesn't ask for a lot, does she?"

"_No, she doesn't. I'm just scared. I don't want people to treat her any different."_

"Well why are you treating her differently then?"

"_I have to deal with it myself before I can help her, Mike." _

"Well you better deal with it quick. I told her you'd be here when she wakes up. Don't make me break that promise. You need to get here. Call my Mom, she'll drive you. She's waiting for one of us to call with an update anyway. Call her and get here Dana, I can't see her being asleep for very long."

"_Mike, I don't know if I-"_

"Dana, I'm not asking you to do this, I'm telling you to do this for your daughter. She needs you. Do the right thing here. Call my Mom. I better see you soon."

Lindsay could feel the tears trickling down her neck as she listened to her father slam the phone back into it's receiver. She absolutely didn't give her Dad enough credit... and as much as she was trying to fight it... things were definitely changing.

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**And there we have it. The latest chapter. I don't want to give too much away, but just as a note, I don't have a thing against mothers, and I've never envisioned Lindsay's Mom like this before... but I was thinking about it when I was writing the chapter and in 3x05 I think it is, Danny takes over for Lindsay with a mother because she struggles with them. I think the line, off the top of my head, is something like 'I can give bad news to fathers all day but mothers... I can't do mothers" again, that's just off the top of my head but I thought that was interesting and I went with that little bit of canon... and well, I guess this is what Fred came up with. There will be more on that later though. I just wanted to explain my reasoning behind the chapter :)**  
**Thanks for reading, I'd love to know what you thought. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Update Sunday! Hi guys, hope you have all had a lovely weekend, especially with the treat that was csi:ny on friday night. I can't wait for the season to kick première was brilliant, and hopefully just a taste of what to come! (Shameless plug time, but if you haven't seen, I posted a post-ep oneshot, if you wanted to check it out ;) It's called Peace Offerings.)**

**Now, with this chapter, I wasn't actually going to revisit a certain someone originally, but with the positive comments from the first chapter that I posted, it seems silly not to include him within this story. I'd like to note here that I am not a murderer and do not usually have murderous thoughts. Let's make that clear now. hahaha. We'll say I utilise my creative license well? **

**I really appreciate the continued support for this story... I know I have other stories that you guys are kind of waiting for updates on. I constantly have ideas whirling around in my mind, and make little notes on my phone but at the minute it's finding the time to write a chapter (I'm lucky I block wrote this story!) So I promise that you will get an update for my other stories eventually. I just don't really know when. **

**Huge thanks to those of you who took the time to review, Saderia, Izzi Creo, gigglesforcsi, smuffly, Sprog101, Dantana15, Montanagirl2009, Meggie, Alex Joleta. **

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_Wheels up, I got to leave this evening, can't seem to shake these vultures off my trail. Power is made by pure manipulation; so I keep running to protect my situation._

_-Vultures, John Mayer._

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He'd learnt a valuable lesson tonight; he had learnt that screaming was music to his ears. The look on their faces when they realised what was happening was something he'd never forget. As luck would have it, the three giggling girls were sat there eating their blessed apple pies right when he had walked in. It was any wonder nosey bitch Lydia hadn't been sat right there with them. She hadn't left, but then again, he hadn't really been watching. He'd been watching the clock. Waiting for the time to come. And when it had, he took great joy in walking the short distance to the place he'd been staring at for hours.

Just like he planned, he moved quickly to both the front and the back of the car, removing the license plates with the aid of the headlights and taillights to help him. With the shovel in the trunk, he dug a shallow hole and dumped all of the shit in there. Goodbye stolen plates from a random car back in Detroit. Hello new plates from Texas. Even if they called up little bitch Lydia, and she happened to remember the plates, there's no way they'd get a link from Michigan to Texas. And good luck to them if they did manage it. Nope, it was going to be plain sailing from here, he thought as he stripped his bloodied t-shirt and dumped that in the shallow hole. If he had any luck, some raccoon or mountain lion or whatever else they had roaming the wilderness out here would come and carry his shit away. It'd do him a huge favour.

He sighed as he looked down to the dimly lit hole. He felt a little sad throwing the trophies of his accomplishment away. The memories however would stay in his mind. With each pull of the trigger, he'd felt the power surge through him. This was him. He was doing this. He was achieving something. He had put his name on something. This would ring in the air of this little town for years and years. Possibly even forever. He had left a legacy behind him, with destruction covering his footsteps. His unknown name would be a whisper every now and then. Maybe he'd even feature on a stupid, dumbass crime show… Unsolved Mysteries. He'd have to set up the VCR to record that, he thought to himself.

As he had driven away, he heard the sirens blaring from the only two police cars in the state, he mused… rushing to the little diner to find that actually… there was nothing left for them to do, other than call the morgue.

He shovelled the dirt into the shallow hole as he said goodbye to his successful mission. He tossed the shovel back into the trunk before slamming it shut. He stretched and enjoyed the pressure being released from his back. He'd been wearing a lot of stress the past few days. It actually felt a little like Christmas. All the stress and pressure, making sure everything was in order; the turkey, or in this case, bullets, were ready and raring to go. The hype of it. The excitement. The unknown. The elation when it finally arrived and then… nothing. It was done. All the fuss and the excitement for a mere moment's pleasure. He shook his head as he realised he was perhaps being slightly unfair. He would gain pleasure from this for a long time. Their screams and cries were still ringing in his ears. The pleading… well, from the last one he killed. The other three didn't really get much chance. But for the last one… he'd hesitated. He wanted her to know exactly what was happening… and boy she had. It was a shame really. She had been a pretty girl. But it was oh so satisfying when he watched her fly into the booth behind her. Extra points there, he'd thought.

Then afterwards as he walked around, he'd stood over them as they took their last breaths, if they hadn't already taken them. In the moment, he wondered when people would find out. In an hour when the girls didn't come home. Two hours? Three hours? Or maybe they wouldn't be found until the owner came to work with his paper and thermos of coffee from his mind numbingly stupid wife to find that the diner hadn't ever been locked. Then, all angry that his little employee had done a sloppy job, he'd walk in with all intentions of firing her to realise that she'd already been fired… fired at through the barrel of a shotgun.

However the girls were found… it was a job well done. Whoever would lay eyes on the bodies would be scarred for life. He'd made sure of that. The blood pools were impressive. Their positions were memorable and the sheer devastation it would cause? Well… ten points to him. It would be a traumatic life event to recover from. And if they ever did catch him, it would be interesting to hear from the witnesses. The first responders… the person that found them. What they had to say about it. If they were even still alive that was. It'd take a strong person to get through what he had just left… and good luck to them, he thought, because they would damn well need it.

He got back into the car and fired up the engine. He pressed his foot to the floor as he crossed the state line between Montana and Wyoming. _See ya later, Montana_. He thought to himself, as he looked to the darkness in the background. _It's been real fun._

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**Short and definitely not sweet... but there we have it. hope you guys enjoyed the little insight into Daniel Katums. Thanks for reading! **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: ****I think it is safe to say that I have kind of neglected this story recently. With the episodes coming back, I got a little bit excited and totally cast this one to the side... along with the others I have on going. I'm sorrrry! But, with next weeks episode quickly approaching, I feel like now would be a good time to post a new chapter... and hopefully the ideas will come flooding back. I know exactly what the plan is, and there probably won't be a ridiculous amount more of chapters... it's just pinning the time down to write them. **

**Anyway, I'm rambling. **

* * *

_Everybody's waiting for you to break down; everybody's watching to see the fall out. Even when you're sleeping, keep your eyes open._

_-Eyes Open, Taylor Swift_

* * *

Lindsay had no idea what time it was but it was late; probably early morning actually. It was definitely still dark out, but there was a bedside light that her Dad must have turned on before he fell asleep in the chair next to her bed. He hadn't left her side. She sighed heavily as she thought about how many aches and pains he'd have when he woke up. She sat up in bed and could feel her head banging. It always happened when she cried. The first time she'd broken her arm she had cried until she'd made herself sick. Her sister had picked up the pieces though and made everything seem better and even with the bone practically poking through her skin; they'd found a way to giggle about it. Now though, there didn't seem to be anything to giggle about.

She reached over for the cup of water on her bedside table, and just as she was about to grab it, her father jumped in his sleep, making her send the water flying to the floor. She cursed under her breath as she realised that she would have to go into the bathroom to get a paper towel to clean it up. She hadn't been to the restroom yet. She wasn't sure whether she could handle the demons that were waiting in there for her. Every time she closed her eyes she could see the faces and blood pools of her friends. There had been a few times when she closed her eyes that she had seen herself tucked into a ball in the corner of the restroom. She hadn't had to go yet, but she was getting to the place where she would need to suck it up and just go… but thinking that she had to do something and physically being able to do something was two entirely different things. Her brain was a lot more capable than her body at the minute. Even though she was talking herself into doing it… she didn't think she could move her body into the small room.

She swung her feet over the bed and let one foot fall to the cold, hospital floor. The other foot soon joined and she was stood from the bed. It felt actually okay to stretch her legs. The first step was fine, so was the second step. The third wasn't too bad… but as she hit the fourth step, she realised that she was nearly at the bathroom. Her heart rate increased tenfold as she reached for the handle and as her hand connected with the metal, she could hear the gunshots ringing in her ears, accompanied with her friends' screams.

She let go of the handle and slid down the wall as she crumbled at the bottom of the door, sobbing heartily as she desperately fought for the images of her dying friends to leave her mind's eye. Without her realising, she felt a strong pair of arms wrap themselves around her as they scooped her up from the pile she had collapsed into. She felt safe in the arms and she tucked her head into the neck of the familiar scent. Through her tear-filled eyes, she could see the outline of her Daddy, coming to her rescue. He confidently strode across the hospital room and instead of placing Lindsay back into the bed, he sat in the chair, and sat her on his lap. Automatically, she snuggled into his body and she buried her face into his oxford shirt as her tears overpowered her. She sobbed for the loss of her friends, she sobbed for the memories she couldn't get rid of and she sobbed because she was tired. She was so tired, but every time she closed her eyes, she found herself in the middle of a living nightmare.

"Let it all out," Mike whispered into his daughter's hair as she gripped to him tightly, praying he didn't move from the protective cocoon that he had placed her in. "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, honeybee."

"I want it to go away, Daddy." She whimpered in-between her tears.

"I know you do, honey. I know."

* * *

A half hour later, and with the assistance of her Dad stood holding her hand, Lindsay battled the bathroom demon. Once they had got into the bathroom itself, she had been almost instantly ready to leave when it seemed to be closing in on her. But rather than let her scramble out of the bathroom like she desperately wanted to, her Dad gripped her shoulders and stared her down, telling her that everything was okay and nothing was going to happen to her while he was there. Using his words as a mantra, she looked at him for one more boost of confidence before she nodded to him, signalling for him to turn around.

Her heart rate was beating ten to the dozen and all she could hear was the thrumming of her heart in her ears. She was absolutely positive that the sensation wasn't natural, but then again, the emotions she was feeling wasn't exactly natural. And, if she was completely honest, the sound of her anxious heart was a better sound than the screams of her best friends.

She washed her hands quickly, emotions overcoming her when she realised that the last time she had done this, she was washing Kelly's blood from them. And then the time before that had been the reason why she was still here.

By the time that ordeal was over, it was breakfast time, and Lindsay was subjected to nasty the hospital food that she wasn't even sure qualified as food. One look to her father had him smiling and he pressed a kiss to her forehead as he grabbed his wallet and asked her what she wanted. She'd managed a weak smile and asked for a blueberry muffin and a fruit cup. She knew she couldn't handle anything heavy, and both were things that she didn't have to eat right there and then if she lost her appetite like she suspected she might.

That had been fifteen minutes ago; and her ears perked up at the sounds of a knocking at her door. Her raspy voice called for whoever it was to come in, and she blinked at the person standing in the doorway.

"Mom." Lindsay whispered.

"Hello honey," she said softly as she made her way into Lindsay's hospital room. "How are you?"

Lindsay shrugged in response. Just like everyone who had come into her room so far. Lindsay observed her mother, looking for that damned look in her eyes. Her eyes connected with her mother's and she felt her insides squeeze in disappointment. She'd seen a little bit of the look in her father, but as quickly as she had seen it, it had disappeared. However, for her mom – it was probably the worse she'd seen in anyone. And it wasn't going anywhere.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Lindsay whispered sadly as her mother sat on the edge of her bed.

"I'm not looking at you like anything. I'm just glad to see you safe."

"No, you're not. You're looking at me as if you feel sorry for me. I don't want you to look at me like that, Mom."

"Lindsay, I'm not looking at you like anything sweetheart."

"You are," she whispered sadly as her mother pulled her into a one armed hug. "Where have you been? I wanted you here, why didn't you come with Daddy?"

"Lindsay, just let me hold you for a minute. I want to know you're alright."

"I'm not alright though, Mom." Lindsay scoffed as she edged herself away from her mother. "I really needed you and you weren't here!"

"I know I wasn't, but I'm here now honey."

"But I needed you before. I didn't want Daddy, I wanted you…" She narrowed her eyes as her mother pulled her into a hug despite her physical protests, "You weren't here. You didn't care enough to come. He was the one that was here for me and I was horrible to him. So I feel bad for that now and I shouldn't be feeling bad about something that I shouldn't even be feeling. You should have been here, Mom. I needed you."

"I couldn't Lindsay," her mother whispered. "I needed to cry. I needed to get it out of my system before I saw you."

"But you haven't got it out of your system yet because you're still looking at me in that way."

"Lindsay, I don't know what you're talking about, honey."

Lindsay angrily swiped away a tear that had slipped down her cheek. Noticing her anger, Dana put a hand on Lindsay's. "It's okay to be sad, Lindsay."

"I know I can be sad about it," she informed her mother as she shuffled away from her. "You don't have to tell me to be upset, Mom. I'm definitely upset."

"I just don't want you to hold anything back."

"Like you are," Lindsay countered.

"Enough about that," Dana looked down at her daughter. "Lindsay listen to me, the police officer told me that you told the person that did this your name. We need to talk about this because, well, we may have to do something about it if this person knows your name."

"Not exactly," she whispered. "I gave him a name but I didn't give him my name."

"What name did you give?"

"I don't want to say," Lindsay whispered.

"Why honey? You can tell me." At Lindsay's hesitance, Dana pressed on. "Lindsay, you're safe, whatever you did to keep yourself safe won't make me mad. It'll make me proud."

Lindsay narrowed her eyes as she watched her mother's reaction. She was looking for some indication that what her Mom has just said was untrue. But, as much as she was searching, she couldn't find it. Taking a deep breath, she licked her lips and prepared herself for what she was about to say.

"I used Lydia."

Her mother sat back in the chair and blew out air between her parted lips. "Lydia?"

Lindsay nodded. "Are you mad?"

"I'm not Lindsay, I'm not mad. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to do that. It will have kept you safe; it's a weight off my mind."

"But you're mad."

"Lindsay, honey, I'm not mad."

"You are, I can tell." Tears were rising in Lindsay's bloodshot eyes. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to do it… I just don't think and her name always comes out of my mouth."

"Honey, she was your sister. It's okay to miss her. She would have wanted to keep you safe. She would be right here if she was still here, you know that. If saying her name to strangers makes you feel safer, than that's okay. Why would I be mad, honey?"

"Because that was her name and she's not here anymore to use it."

"That doesn't mean you can't say it." She whispered as she sat on the edge of Lindsay's bed and pulled her daughter into her arms. "It's been a tough few years for you," she said softly. "First sissy, then Grandpa, and now the girls? Anyone would wonder how you're still holding it together. The boys are worried sick. I thought we would give you a little time before I released them on you."

"Like you wanted to wait to see me yourself?" Lindsay tugged herself away from her mother. "At least they want to see me."

"Lindsay, that's not fair honey, you know I wanted to see you."

"Do I? I don't know Mom, I'm not too sure… it's not as if you were here for me to see that, were you?"

"I guess I deserve that," she said sadly. "I just didn't want to scare you. I try really hard not to cry in front of you Lindsay."

"I know that," she said. "You've never cried in front of me. Dad has, but you haven't."

"Because somebody needs to be the strong one, Lindsay."

"Why does anyone have to be strong? Why can't we just cry when we want to cry? I do. Logan does, Dad does, Brad does. Lydia did. It's just you, Mom."

"We don't need to make this about me, Lindsay. This is about you, honey."

"It's about me? Okay, well when I'm older and I have a daughter, I will make sure that when she needs me, I'm there before she even realises she needs me… and when I feel like I need to cry, I'll cry. I want her to know that crying is okay, Mom. Not like you." Lindsay took a deep breath from her rant and closed her eyes for a moment before opening them and looking towards her mother. "I think you should go."

"Lindsay…. Honey…"

"No, go." She said as she curled herself into a ball. "I want to be by myself."

"Lindsay-"

"What don't you understand, Mom? Go!"

To add insult to her mother's injury, Lindsay turned away from her and laid down on the bed with silent tears slipping down her cheek. She felt her mother stand and she squeezed her eyes tight. She hadn't meant to be so horrible, and most of the things she had said, she hadn't even meant… but once again, and like she had with her Daddy, she'd pushed her Mom away. She waited for her mother to kiss her, just like she usually did… but instead of the kiss, she heard footsteps, heading towards the door. She turned over her shoulder just in time to see her mother shut the door behind her.

And in that moment, Lindsay realised that watching her mother cry wouldn't have been half as destructive as it had been to watch her close the door.

* * *

"Hey sis," Logan smiled as he settled next to his sister's bed with her requested blueberry muffin and fruit cup. "Orders from Pop. He and Mom are getting coffee and she's having a smoke outside. Mom seemed upset, which probably explains the cigarette."

She turned around from where she had been laying on her bed with her eyes closed to see her older brother. Ignoring his onslaught of information he'd just given her she searched him for some indication for the look of guilt for her current situation but… she couldn't see it. She could see worry. She could see anger, but no guilt. It was a refreshing change and she could feel herself relax in his presence. "I wasn't expecting to see you. You didn't need to come."

"Do you have any idea how scared I've been?" he implored, ignoring her surprise and disbelief at his visit. "What the fuck happened, Linds?"

"Surely they've told you…" She looked at him through her lashes as she opened her fruit cup and picked out a piece of watermelon and popped it into her mouth. She chewed it with distaste plastered across her face before closing the lid again.

"Not nice?" he asked, amused with her reaction.

"Not hungry," she replied.

They kept me and Brad in the dark, Linds. All we knew was that you survived a shooting and the girls had died. What the fuck. What happened? Where were you?"

"The diner," she said sadly. "Just the usual."

"So you weren't in like New Mexico or something? Harlem in New York maybe? Who the fuck has a gun in Bozeman? Well, has a gun and uses it for anything other than recreational stuff."

"Logan, stop cussing." She scowled. "It sounds horrible and it isn't nice."

"I'm angry Lindsay. I'm real angry. Did you recognise the d-bag that did this?"

"No." she shook her head. "It looked like he was from out of town."

Logan nodded silently. He observed his sister carefully and laid a hand on her's.

"I'm okay, Logan." She said softly. "He didn't even know I was there."

"I'm not looking at you for physical scars, Linds. I'm looking for something a little bit deeper here."

"Well I'm fine."

"That's a lie." He pointedly told her. "When you say you're fine, I know you're anything but. It may fool the professionals, it may even fool Mom and Dad but it doesn't fool me, Linds."

"Who turned you into a conspiracy theorist?"

He shook his head and sighed sadly. "Listen, I know you're conscious of them watching you break down. I get it, okay? I know that you're keeping this inside. I know that you're putting it into a little basket and tucking it away; don't do it Linds. You did it when Lydia died and you did it when Grandpa died. If you keep this inside, it will destroy you. You know no-one else is going to straight up it to you like I am, okay? You know this is the real deal. You need to let it out. Mom told me you said you were upset, and Dad told me you kept asking him why you. Well that isn't good enough. You need to cry and scream. I know you. When Jimmy didn't turn up to homecoming you sobbed into your pillow for a week. This isn't a no-show to the homecoming… this is more than that."

"I have cried," she argued. "I've cried a lot."

"Silent tears." Logan raised his eyebrows pointedly. "Not proper tears, Lindsay."

"I have cried, Logan!" she protested. "I cried with Daddy an hour ago."

"Not tears that you should have. You haven't gotten the anger, hurt and upset out. You're still numb. You don't know what to feel yet. You don't know whether to be upset, angry, scared, worried, hurt… all that sh-stuff." He winked at her as he curbed his curse word before it slipped out. "Brad's distracting the nurses with questions. I want you to come with me."

"I can't." She sighed. "They only let me go to the bathroom."

"So let's go to the bathroom."

"That's the bathroom." She pointed to a closed door in her room. "I haven't managed to go in by myself yet though. I'm a bit scared about what I might see when I'm in there. I broke down earlier and Dad had to pick me up off the floor."

"Let's go stretch your legs then. I'm with you, nothing will happen. We won't leave the hospital… we'll just leave this god ugly room and sort your life out, okay?"

Lindsay pursed her lips together. It sounded like a good idea but….

"Do you trust me Linds?"

"What?" she implored, "What a stupid question; you know I do."

"Come on then," he said as he pulled back the covers on her bed and gestured for her to get out of bed. She took a deep breath before she reached for her brother's hand as he helped her get out of bed.

Maybe it was what she needed… maybe she needed to break down; maybe she needed to let her heart break completely instead of barely holding it together. Mending a shattered heart would surely be better than keeping it all together, right?

On her tiptoes, she followed her brother out of her hospital room and down the hallway before turning into the next hallway, away from the nurses who had been watching her. As waited to see where Logan was leading them until she found herself being tugged into a janitor's closet. She looked to him with questions in her eyes and he simply smiled at his confused sister as he pulled her towards him in a tight hug. "Nobody's watching for the breakdown. I'm not looking. Do what you need to do, kiddo. Cry like I know you need to. Nobody's watching. Just cry."

And for the first time since everything had happened, she didn't hold back. She didn't keep the sobs in and she didn't think about what everyone would be thinking of her. For the first time since she'd heard her friends being killed, she cried. She cried for them and she cried for herself. She gripped to Logan, as he gripped to her and with the tears and screams that came, he didn't falter in his support once. He wasn't watching her breakdown, nor was he judging. He was right there with her, doing exactly what she needed; being her brother.

* * *

**I have quite a soft spot for this chapter for some reason, so I hope that you liked it too. Thanks for reading... I'd love to know what you thought if you wouldn't mind sparing a minute! :) **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: So I think it's been a while since I updated this story, but I've been so wrapped up in Robert and Lindsay land from 9x08. My life is officially complete. you guys have no idea how long I have been waiting for that episode. It didn't help that it was exactly what I imagined for Lindsay. Utter perfection. Zachary Reiter is flawless. The only thing missing from the episode for me had been an airport scene, but I'll get over that with therapy. **_  
_

**I've been wanting to post this chapter for a while now but there was something about it that didn't feel right. I knew exactly what it was when I heard Gary Allen's new song. It was what this chapter has been waiting for. So with that all snuggled up together like perfection, I figured it was time it got sent out into the world. I hope you guys like this. **

**Also, I had a guest review recently asking me (at least I think it was a question, if it wasn't I'll say it was) about Danny because I've stated it's a DL story. And you're right, I have said it's a DL story... but you can't rush things. He will get here, don't worry. But I'm not about to give things away either. Just trust me when I say he's coming. **

**And i'll wrap that up for now. I hope you guys enjoy this brief, but insightful look into Lindsay's dad perspective. **

* * *

_Every storm runs, runs out of rain; just like every dark night turns into day. Every heartache will fade away, just like every storm runs, runs out of rain._

_- Every Storm (Runs Out of Rain), Gary Allen._

* * *

Staring up at the storm clouds through the passenger window, Lindsay Monroe let the tears roll down her cheek.

They'd silently decided on the long way home from Deaconess _Hospital, avoiding the Diner on their route. Michael had been driving past it everyday on his way to see Lindsay, partially to make sure he knew that things were still being done, and partially to torture himself. He wasn't sure why he'd felt drawn to the place of devastation, but he'd needed to see the flurry of activity. Police officers and specialist units were all over the diner, looking for any sign of the person that had done such a horrific thing to five innocent little girls, b__ecause ultimately, that was what they were; defenceless, little girls who had their innocence taken away too soon. _

Michael turned to look at his little girl as she sat in the seat next to him, attempting to hide her tears as she watched the storm clouds form above their head.

In total, Lindsay had been in the hospital for three days. A little extreme, he'd thought considering she had not a scratch on her. She'd asked constantly why she was still there, and that there was nothing wrong. He had known why, but didn't have the heart to tell her. He knew his little girl and knew that what they were worried about wasn't even an issue… but they were professionals, and their opinion took precedence over his own, uneducated one. Apparently knowing your own daughter didn't carry anything anymore. Of course, his inability to provide her with an answer only made Lindsay even more suspicious. Eventually, she'd wormed it out of Logan that they wanted to keep an eye on her emotional state because of the 'traumatic nature of the passing of her friends' and considering she was the 'only surviving witness' they couldn't be sure what she would do if left to her own company. The look on her face had crushed his heart. He could tell that she felt betrayed. It was hard enough for him to stomach, so he didn't even know how it must have felt for his daughter, already dealing with so many emotions of her own. Now she had to deal with the thought that he, the only person she could rely on, didn't trust her to be by herself? She'd asked him if he thought she'd do it, she'd stumbled over her words as she'd said it, and although she hadn't spelled it out, he knew exactly what she meant. He didn't think for a second that she'd take her life. He'd always told her how special life was, and how lucky they were to be healthy and it wasn't something that you took for granted. Even in her darkest days, Michael Monroe could see the spark in his daughter's eyes; it might have been mellowed… but it was definitely still there. He knew that some probably would think about it… but it wasn't the top of her priority list. The four lives had already been lost was more than enough. Nobody needed another life gone. Ever since it had happened, he had been telling her that she was here for a reason, and even though it left a bitter taste in her mouth, he was beginning to think that she was slowly accepting it.

Driving through the town that had changed in the past two days, he listened as Lindsay let out a breath. As it was, the world hadn't stopped while she had been in the hospital, but things had definitely been waiting for her. Some businesses were still shut in respect, others were shut in horror; unbelieving that such a tragedy had happened in their bubble. It wasn't that things didn't happen in Bozeman, because things did. People died and accidents happened. But murder? It just didn't happen… until now.

Pulling up outside of their home, Michael cast a nervous glance in his daughter's direction. "How are you feeling, kiddo?"

"Fine," she shrugged as she unclipped her seatbelt. "Thanks for the ride."

"Don't be silly;" he said softly, "I wanted to bring you home."

"Hmm," she nodded as she went to open up the door. As she did, a fat raindrop landed on her bare arm. She looked up to the sky and watched the storm clouds brewing above her head. They were about to be subjected to one serious storm. The air around her smelled like it was ready to rain; which was always one of Jenny's favourite smells. Lindsay sighed as a fresh batch of tears hit her. She swallowed and quickly exited the Pinto before leaning back in the grab her bag. She slammed the door shut quickly and ran to the front door. She disappeared inside before Michael had even got the chance to say another word.

Letting go of the steering wheel, Michael sat back in his seat and sighed heavily as he watched big fat raindrops hit the windscreen of his wife's car. Short of wrapping his little girl in cotton wool, he had no way of protecting her from the storm that was about to hit…

His eyes absorbed his home of the past twenty years and he couldn't help but hear the giggles of the four teenage girls that had used the mass of land to fuel their childhoods. The giggles he could hear in the wind however, twisted the knife that was already in his gut. If he could hear those giggles, Lindsay could hear them too. She'd be able to hear them, feel the memories and miss the girls even more than she already did. Even her home wasn't a safe haven. Looking up to Lindsay's bedroom window, he watched his little girl turn the lights on, he then watched as she closed her blinds, making her disappear from view.

Deciding to brave the weather, he opened up his car door and raced for the front porch; the rain soaking through his shirt as he did. His little girl was hurting, and he had no idea how to fix it. Life, he thought, was ridiculously unfair. And even though he knew they'd make it through, he wondered just how they'd manage it, and how intact they'd be once they made it to the other side.

* * *

Hours passed and Michael still couldn't hear movement in Lindsay's room. He'd tiptoed down the hallway a thousand times, pressing an ear to her door but he couldn't hear a thing. The storm had shaken the very foundations of their little home and as he nursed a cup of coffee, he marvelled at the perfect metaphor. A storm was definitely shaking their very foundations that made them who they were. It'd been hours now of constant rain, wind and the occasional blast of thunder and lightening. But storms didn't last forever. They eventually ended, and the grey clouds lifted and things seemed a little clearer.

Their storm would pass - maybe in a month, six months, a year or ten. Regardless of how long it lasted, it would pass.

Hearing the gravel on the driveway, Michael glanced at his watch. Dana must have gotten home early from work. He stood from his seat at their kitchen table and poured her a cup of coffee and got the ashtray ready to take out to her on the porch. She'd tried to shake the nasty habit for years, but with stress after stress placed upon her shoulders, it was the only thing she would fall back on. And as much as Michael hated it, he couldn't make her stop. He could only ask. He crossed the kitchen and headed out into the hallway and opened the front door as he watched his wife juggling an arm full of brightly coloured folders from her fourth graders.

"End of year projects?"

Dana sighed and rolled her eyes as she dropped her student's folders down on the porch. "Something like that." She said. "How is she?"

Mike shrugged as he handed his wife the ashtray and coffee cup as they sat on the two wooden deck chairs on their front porch together. "She's survivin'."

"Don't say that, Mike." Dana whispered as she opened her purse and pulled out her cigarettes. "People are going to say that for as long as she'll remember now. It'll be all they say; the last thing she needs is for you to say that."

"I didn't mean it in that way and you know it."

"I know but… I just don't want to make it any worse for her."

"I don't think anything we say will make it worse, Dana." He scowled at the cigarette she was about to place in her mouth. "I wish you wouldn't do that."

"Mike, please." Dana sighed as she lit the small stick. "It's my one vice."

"And what do I do on the day it kills you, Dana?"

Ignoring her husband, Dana sighed heavily as she looked over their waterlogged lawn. "It's really been coming down."

"It's gotta run out of rain eventually." Mike joined her in looking out over their small plot of land. Seeing some movement, he narrowed his eyes together and felt his heart stop in his chest. "What the hell is she doing?!" he implored, standing from his seat.

"Who?" Dana asked sitting up in her own seat.

Disregarding his wife's questions, Mike stood on the very edge of the porch as the figure move closer to their house. "Lindsay Monroe, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I went for a rain walk," she said as she pulled her hood from her coat down and approached the house."

"A rain walk? Lindsay, you've lost your damn mind! It's been raining constantly for the past six hours. Thunder and lightening! I thought you were safe upstairs."

"I know, I heard you coming upstairs every fifteen seconds, Dad. You're hardly a ballerina; more a baby elephant going up those stairs. I needed to clear my head so I went for a walk. I'm fine."

"I didn't know where you were."

"You didn't know I was gone either," she countered. "Look, you wouldn't understand… I just needed to get away from people for an hour. I wanted to be by myself."

"You should have told me you were going out." Mike scowled at her. "How am I supposed to keep you safe if I don't know where you are?"

"Because I'm perfectly fine in keeping myself safe, Dad. Just because I've been through hell the past few days doesn't mean you have to step it up on security. A week ago if I had gone out for a walk you wouldn't have said a word… Don't make it different now. Don't be a different Dad. That's the last thing I need."

Mike blinked at his daughter. The rain was beginning to let up and just beyond horizon, the clouds were beginning to break. For the first time since they'd gotten home from the hospital, things were beginning to seem clearer. As he studied his daughter, he could see the clarity in her eyes. She'd been doing some serious thinking on her rain walk. Maybe it's what she had needed. He thought. Who was he to stop her from healing in the way she needed to? He couldn't tell her what to do. She had experienced things that he couldn't even imagine and she needed to deal with it in her own way; which was exactly what she had done. He took a deep breath and pressed a kiss to his daughter's soaked forehead.

"Alright, go dry off. You can come help us make dinner in a little while."

She nodded and smiled at her mother before laying her raincoat over the arm of her father's chair he'd just vacated. She then let herself into the house and disappeared upstairs. He turned to face his wife who had a sad expression, mixed with pride on her face.

He wasn't sure whether it was the end of their ordeal or the beginning of their journey; either way though it was going to be one long, hard fight.

* * *

**Thoughts on this chapter and the story in general would as always be appreciated :) thanks for reading! **


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